hurricane
sweeps my heart, muddles my
head, leaps and
bounds, crashes and
burns, gets back up
again.

nightmare
follows me, entrances me,
scares me.

dream
soothes me, improves me,
leaves me, moves me.

how deep is that, amirite?

Pas de Un

Love

I decided
Today that I am in
Love.
With the idea of it.

dance
because i am insane
and sane
and sane
and sane
and in sanity
is my favorite type of insanity
and thanks for friends
smiley emoticon
and insane
in the rain
dancing is my main
passion, it's not lame

Tralala,
over the moon,
for no particular reason,
but Shalala,
I'm in a rainbow mood.

I wrote really bad poetry today,
and my friend is sick,
and and and I'm followed by shadowwhispers of insecurity,
but I'm trying,
so I'm happy.

I'm at peace with Him,
Amazed, filled with mercy,
and yeah, God.
Here I am Lord, Send Me.

I used to be her-
you know- her-
and I am her-
just now her-
has changed.
Caterpillar, butterfly.

Shalala,
is this because of Sunday?
Where I sang my second-ever-solo in church?
No.
But I did.
Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or today?

No.
Because I have made it through almost 13 years of my life.
I'm blessed.
(Even though I think we've missed the point of the prayer of Jabez)

I'm so happy that
you acknowledge me.
You're one of my best friends,
And I couldn't bear life without you.
Thanks for
...
listening.

I forgive you.
Both of you.
And it's forgotton-
just, I bottle up my emotions,
and then I explode
at ten o'clock at night, when I can't be held liable for my actions.
But I took a step
and I'm closer.

Also

Also
Just because I don't have
Mad yarn or guitar skills
Doesn't mean I'm not there.
I'm still a person
Not a runner up to livelaughluck girl
Or miss yarnia
I really don't know what to do sometimes
When I feel surrounded by hypocrites for so long
Then finding friends
Then trying to bottle everything up to stay strong
The pouring out my emotions to this stupid iPod app that won't save anything when you leave the app at 10 o'clock because you're too afraid to say anything in person.
I don't want to mention names but they're the only people who read this so please I'm tired of
Standing in the back
And not having input
And walking around
With a stupid fake smile on my face
So I'm not alienated
Then I feel apart of something
And I'm euphoric
But then
Do you realize how inferior I feel to you
When I get ignored
Because i don't have anything to teach
And I'm not offered to learn
So I kind of hope I make someone cry because of this
So they can experience how I feel
How I think sometimes, everyone is fake there where I happen to be on Wednesday and Sunday
And nobody focuses
And I really can't feel God there
Thank Him for personal time
And so that's how I feel
And if you don't read this in time
I really hope you do
I can't face this face to face
I don't think
And that's who I am
Divided because
I want to say this so much but can't
But I will

To Two People

Was I really that bad?
Ignored by the people I ignore
Fine,
But I needed support then,
And just critique,
Did I give nothing to be complimented?
It keeps me up at night, even a few days later.
I was complimented by people who had to- not my peers,
Who's approval I do seek,
Even when I state otherwise.
It hurt me.
Dedicated to: two people who I hope recognize this is for them.